Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
