Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
