I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Boobs speak an international language.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
