I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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