I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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