I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
