Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
