Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
