i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
