when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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