my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize