the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
