i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
