this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
