Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
