YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize