we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
