i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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