Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
