Are we in a gay sports bar?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
