Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
