I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
