He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
