didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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