If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
