a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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