I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
