what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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