Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
