After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We need to get me chipped asap
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize