"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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