mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
