Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
