Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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