3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
youre lurking in front of me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
