I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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