She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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