Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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