Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
