I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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