I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
