just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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