oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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