can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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