Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
