I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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