I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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