the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
