Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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