so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
