apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
there is glitter all over my balls
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