a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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