I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
