just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There are leaves in my underwear?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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