You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
