i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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