rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
