And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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