I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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