therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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