i think my tv is drunk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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