FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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