my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
