I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
