some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
