some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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