Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
