Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
