ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Mom said you looked used
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
